I debated putting this on online for the world to know about, but it makes me feel better to talk about it. I have some sad news. I was really excited to find out a few weeks ago that I was pregnant but hadn't really told anyone yet. I was out of town in Utah and Idaho for Christmas last week and was having some spotting and light cramping but because both were so light I decided to wait until we got back to Texas to go see the doctor. Yesterday I went in to the ER and they were not able to find any signs of pregnancy in my uterus but did confirm I was indeed pregnant. They admitted me and had me stay overnight so that we could re-run the tests in the morning. A second ultrasound this morning found the gestational sac on my left fallopian tube instead of my uterus which is an ectopic pregnancy. They told me, "the fetal head, thorax, and abdomen are clearly seen and the crown rump length measures 1.9cm, corresponding with EGA of 8.4 weeks. However, there is no fetal heart activity. Observation for 6 minutes shows no fetal heart monitors. There has been fetal demise."
I went in for surgery this morning because an ectopic pregnancy can be fatal if not removed. I've never had any kind of surgery in my life other than wisdom teeth extraction and was really sad and nervous. There was so much bleeding during the surgery that they were not able to save my fallopian tube and had to remove my entire left fallopian tube. I am in recovery now and will stay overnight at the hospital.
I am grateful that we caught it when we did, but it has been a very sad day for Sheridan and me. My doctor said I should still be able to get pregnant in the future but right now I don't ever want to have to go through this again and my chances of having another ectopic pregnancy are now increased. I don't think I want to try for any more kids, but that could just be my raw feelings right now maybe it will change in the future.
This is what my incisions look like right now. I am thankful they were able to do everything laparoscopically to minimize scarring. They insert gas into your stomach when they do this procedure which is why my stomach looks so bloated here.
For my recovery, I am not allowed to lift weights for 4 weeks and can only do very light cardio (like walking). We don't have any family here in Texas and so I am so, so grateful for our friends and neighbors who have been wonderful and helped with our kids and provided support to us during this time.
I initially typed this blog post intending to only save it as a draft and maybe publish it in the future, but I am surprised at how much it helped me process everything just writing this out. Please understand that my emotions are very raw right now and any rude, mean, or insensitive comments will be deleted.
If you are just stumbling across this post, I wrote quite a bit when I was going through the entire surgery and recovery process. Here are the posts I wrote in the order they were written starting from the day of my ectopic pregnancy surgery.
- Some Sad News
- Avocado Tree
- Not Fair
- Life Goes On
- Thank You
- Grief is a Funny Thing