My entire business started because my body wasn’t what it used to be after I had my kids. I had a hard time with the changes that my body experienced, and often had trouble looking at myself in the mirror as a result. Through the work I put in to make my body something I loved again, I also had to undergo a lot of changes in my mind. Those changes weren’t about yelling at myself for being lazy, or being hard on myself until I put in the work. Quite the opposite. I had to be gentle with myself, and get myself out of the negative mindset that kept my body and my mind in a bad spot. That is why I’ll never be one of the people that uses shame as a tool for motivation.
Maybe that’s stupid. After all, the people who shame others into working out, eating better, and buying their product are often pretty successful. However, my business is less about the dollar, and more about my passion for helping women.
When We Love Ourselves, We Do More for Ourselves
“No excuses!” “You need to be better!” “Get off the couch!” “Stop doing what you’re doing!” You know the programs I’m talking about. Those programs are designed to make you feel bad about yourself until you buy their product. That might work for their bottom line, but I’d argue it doesn’t make any lasting differences for their customers. I would rather say, “Be kind to yourself. “Give yourself grace.” “Habits take time.” “Everyone is different.” “Love yourself.” Not only because I’m not about bullying people into things, but because I really think that the more we love ourselves, the more we do for ourselves.
Giving your body healthy foods is better for it, but we have to love our bodies and understand what they need. And honestly, a cookie sometimes won’t ruin anything. Moving more is better, but we have to teach our mind to ease into that in order to make it a habit. And if you skip a workout, it’s okay. Start with the mind and the body will follow.
There are Enough Negative Voices in the World
For new moms especially, it’s far more important for them to adjust to their life with their baby and to recover from birth than it is to get their six pack back. They are hard enough on themselves, they don’t need anyone else saying negative things to echo the thoughts they may already have. Shame breeds negativity, and I would never want to shame someone into spending money. I’d never want to make someone feel bad about themselves until they purchased something from me. That thought honestly hurts my stomach.
All around us, people are telling us what we should be eating, what we should look like, how we should parent, and what workouts to do. The world picks us apart until we are doing it to ourselves as well. I want to go the other way and help women realize they can be whatever they want to be without making themselves feel bad until they reach their goal.
Strong Women Uplift Other Women
There is not one way to look, or to eat, or to workout, or to love yourself. I’ve always wanted to help women based on what they want in order to feel better about themselves. If you love the way you look, great! If you’d rather focus on work, or your baby, or other aspects of life right now, awesome! But, if you want to focus on healthy eating and exercise, I have some programs to help! I’m not here to tell you what you should do, or why you aren’t good enough, quite the opposite!. Strong women uplift other women, and I think that feeling of community and that sense of togetherness will do more to motivate women that shame ever will.
Letting go of shame is one of the essential steps in really reaching your goals, discovering who you are as a person, and giving yourself grace. I have a strong passion for uplifting other women so that they can push past their guilt and find success. Shame isn’t a motivational tool, it’s a motivational roadblock.
I still fall victim to shame marketing sometimes. I can always tell when it’s happening. I start to feel worse about myself, I feel guilty for the mistakes I’m making that are hindering my process, and I start comparing myself to others. We all fall into the trap sometimes. However, I’ve learned to shake those feelings off, unfollow or block whatever caused me to feel that way, and to start making a plan to reach my goals in a healthy way.
If you find yourself falling victim to shaming tactics, just remember that you are strong, you are capable, and you deserve to live a positive life without those feelings of shame. Give yourself grace, make a healthy plan for your goals, and know that loving yourself will help your motivation more than shame ever will.