I remember when they put my very first 10 pound, 22 inch baby on my chest after 36 hours of labor. My little (not so little?) boy was amazing, and I felt so connected to my body and my son despite being so exhausted. Despite delivering 12 days past my due date, having no pain management, and almost two hours of active pushing, I have really positive memories of my first birth. This moment marked the beginning of my journey as a mom. Now, 10 years later, I have two babies (who aren’t babies anymore) and a house full of toys, a bunch of chaos, and a whole lot of love! I can’t believe I’ve been a mom to two amazing kids for 10 years.
A week ago, on September 30th, Lincoln turned 10. We had a birthday for him at my dad’s, and combined it with his cousin’s birthday, Banner, who turned 7. He got a new bike, a birthday dinner, and a lot of love from his friends and family! I always feel so nostalgic when my kids age, but this one really hit me hard. 10 years! How has 10 years gone by since I first held my boy? I could cry thinking about my babies growing up, but I’m also so proud of the people they are becoming, and I’m so thankful for my journey as their mom.
I remember when Lincoln couldn’t say his L’s or his R’s, so when he said his name he said, “Weencun Wee.” He was always the sweetest boy, especially to his sister, though he could throw quite the temper tantrum when we wanted to! He’s so smart, was always really excited about school, and has an amazing imagination. He’s goofy and silly, has such a tender heart, and continues to be driven and involved. He used to love waking up with me to workout, and now wakes up with me sometimes to work on public speaking — something he’s seen me working on a lot lately. He’s a little sponge, and I love watching him soak up the inspiration around him.
I’ll never be able to thank Lincoln for making me a mom for the first time. Not in a way I can really express, anyway. Maybe one day when he has kids, he will be able to grasp the feeling I have for him by comparing it to how he will feel about his own babies. He tests me, loves me, and makes me laugh, and I am so thankful for the young man he’s becoming. Okay, enough before I cry all over my keyboard!
What I’ve Learned
I’ve had so many hard times as a mom (haven’t we all?), but those aren’t what I think about when I look back on my 10 years of motherhood. I don’t think about the times I felt like my house wasn’t clean enough, all the sleep I wasn’t getting, and the times that I didn’t recognize the woman in the mirror. However, those moments were important to my growth and my story as a mom, it’s just not what I think about. I think about holding them when they were small, saying goodbye when they started school, and watching them learn from me. I remember the smiles, the hugs, and the love. Lots and lots of love! I’ve learned that the hard parts aren’t as loud as the amazing parts, and that I should always be thankful for that.
I’m not a perfect mom, I’m just the mom I am. Each chapter of motherhood has been so different for me, and the past 10 years have taught me so much about what’s really important. I’ve learned that a lot of the things that I think matter a lot right now, won’t matter as much in the long run. I’ve learned that motherhood is always a work in progress, and that while I always try to be the best I can be, it’s okay if I stumble through it a little bit. I’ve learned that 10 years can feel like the blink of an eye, so I need to cherish each age while I can.
Happy birthday, Lincoln Lee! Thank you for the past 10 years of being your mom! Let’s slow down a bit for the next 10, okay?
For those of you who are moms, no matter which stage of motherhood you’re in, what are your thoughts when you look back on motherhood?
P.S. To celebrate Lincoln’s 10th birthday, I wanted to offer all of you 10% off everything in my shop! Use the code BIRTHDAY10 and click HERE!