I’ve had to talk myself out of some pretty serious negative self-talk before. Where I’ve told myself the absolute worst things, and then had to remind myself that I am worthy and loved and that I should show myself grace. Believe it or not, saying those harmful things to yourself can do some real damage to your ability to move forward.
Have you ever felt completely broken down by your inability to complete a goal or a task? When you are so fed up with yourself because you can’t seem to get up and go to the gym, or to sit down and complete a project, or follow through with any of your plans to get where you want to go? I know I have. I’ve sat and talked down to myself for being lazy, or scared, or lacking discipline.
However, I’ve come to realize that getting unstuck often involves digging a little deeper.
What’s Holding You Back?
Feeling stagnant, void of direction, or lost is a common feeling. I’ve realized there’s often a lot more going on beneath the surface that is causing us to feel stuck. It’s not because we are lazy, or that we lack discipline. It often has to do with shame, with not having the right tools, and with being paralyzed by perfection.
Shame is a powerful emotion. Failing in the past can make us feel like we aren’t good enough, and it can be a major roadblock in future goals and accomplishments. Being honest and open about that shame can really help moving forward. Sometimes we don’t have the tools to learn how to be successful and we tend to fall into the same pattern of quitting and starting over again and again because we don’t know how to complete a task.
If you’re like me, you tend to quit when you mess up. When you don’t get something perfectly. When you have too many calories at breakfast, you give up on your diet for the rest of the day. When you miss the gym one day, you vow to start again on Monday. When you start a project one day, but you don’t follow through the rest of the week, you quit and avoid it.
These are all things that may be holding you back beneath the surface. It’s not about being lazy or too scared, it’s about needing to address the things under the surface before being able to complete your goals.
Unlearning is Just as Important as Learning
Learning how to follow through with the promises you keep to yourself has as much to do with unlearning as it has to do with learning. It’s about unlearning how you currently do things. Thankfully, the process of practicing a new way of doing things can often help unlearn negative habits and roadblocks. When you have too many calories at breakfast, remind yourself you can still keep to your diet for lunch and dinner. When you don’t make it to the gym today, give yourself grace, and try to make it tomorrow. If you haven’t tackled your current project quite like you’d hoped, forgive yourself, and try again tomorrow.
We may have learned that when we fail, it proves we aren’t worth it. That we are too lazy or scared to move forward. By pushing those feelings aside and continuing to try again and again, you’re unlearning those negative beliefs and learning that you are resilient. Just because you haven’t figured out how to get unstuck yourself doesn’t mean you can’t do it, it just means you haven’t been taught how yet.
Shame, being paralyzed by perfection, and not having the right tools to succeed are just a few of the things beneath the surface that may be causing you to feel stuck. It’s often not what’s on the surface that is holding us back.
Just know you have it in you, and that you deserve some grace while you find your way!
Tell me about a time you’ve had to dig a little deeper to find what’s holding you back.
P.S. My 21-Day Challenge is all about digging deeper to help you reach your goals. No matter what your goal is, whether it’s business related, a personal goal, family oriented, or financial, my challenge can help! My next challenge starts on September 21st! Click HERE to find out more!