They are the people I’m dancing with in silly videos, the women I post funny photos with, and the people in my life who have long talks with me after our kids go to bed. They are the ones who make me laugh so hard I cry, and the ones who make me laugh when I’m crying.
They are also the people who challenge me, who bring me back to reality, or who inspire me — professionally and personally.
They are the women I’ve never even met in real life, who encourage me with their words while we stay connected from screen to screen.
Finding my tribe has been a process of finding a whole lot of people who don’t belong in my tribe, and holding on to the ones who do. It’s making sure the people I’m surrounded by are positive and loving, who don’t bring others down, and are supportive of me. Finding your tribe is important, too! It’s about knowing why it’s important, which qualities to look for, and where to find it.
Why It’s Important
I really think that the people around us can have a large impact on how we view the world, how we view others, and how we view ourselves. I wrote a blog post called “You are a Combination of the Five People You Spend the Most Time With,” and I talk about how important it is to be deliberate about the people we allow to be closest to us. Not only that, but it allows you to create a support system out of the people in your tribe. You should never be afraid to lean on those closest to you. But if you’re going to do that, they better be good people. Your tribe can build you up, help you love yourself, and remind you of your own worth. Your tribe is your community, and it’s one of the best parts about life.
The Qualities of a Good Tribe
What are the qualities of a good tribe? It may vary a bit for everyone, but some of the basic ones should be about the same. They should never make you feel bad about yourself, they should be able to relate to you, and they should be compassionate. Look for honesty, kindness, and some sass! You should feel comfortable and vulnerable around them, and you should love them without judgement as well. Your tribe is yours to create, and it should leave you feeling strong and empowered. You should want to offer as much as they give you. Everyone wants something a little different in their closest people, but make sure whatever yours are leave you feeling good about yourself!
Where to Find it
Your tribe may have members you found within your family, through school, at work, or online. It may include a lot of people, or a few amazing people. It’s not about quantity, it’s about quality. However, I know a lot of women struggle with finding the people in their life that they can be vulnerable with, laugh with, and feel connected to. It’s one of the reasons I created Our Womanhood, and why we put such an emphasis on the community aspect of this program. I built so much of my tribe with the people I connected with online through my struggles after having my kids. It’s hard to feel isolated and alone, and I think it’s not only important to feel okay to be vulnerable, but to find the people who allow you to do so without judging you. If you haven’t found it yet, we have it in the Our Womanhood program!
I’d be lost without my tribe. I need to feel silly and dorky and strong and vulnerable. I need to build others up, and feel supported by those closest to me. I’m so lucky that I’ve found my tribe, not only in the people I know in real life, but in all of you. The people who follow me, who read my blog, who reach out to me, and who send me positive messages all the time (I screenshot those and save them so I can read them when I’m feeling down). My tribe helps me to see the world in a positive way, and to view myself in a positive light as well.
What are the important qualities in your tribe members? I’d love to hear them!
Thanks for being a part of my tribe!