So, this is something that is really embarrassing for me to talk about....but I know if I was struggling with it there are other women out there too just like I was. I had major incontinence issues after my kids were born. Any time I would do a high impact activity such as a workout that included a lot of jumping, or even coughing too hard, I would accidentally pee my pants a little (really embarr ...[Read More]
This is the most AMAZING pickled egg recipe ever!! The first time I heard about pickled eggs, I thought they sounded totally disgusting. But, I promise you, they are soooo delicious and a great, quick way to get in some protein and healthy fats. They aren't overly spicy but have just enough kick to create a good flavor. Try a small batch at first, and I promise you will be forever hooked! Ingr ...[Read More]
If you are always looking for other people (or things) to make you happy, you never will be. If you want true happiness, start taking a look at yourself, your daily actions, and your personal belief systems. Taking a little bit of time for yourself each day is important. Remember, giving yourself permission for self care means you are giving everyone around you the best of you, not what is left of ...[Read More]
I used to feel ashamed of my faded stretch marks and loose skin from pregnancy. For a long time, I felt like it was unfair that I could get in really good shape but no matter what I did, I still had soft skin that wrinkled when I bent over and little faded stretch marks everywhere. Self acceptance was a long journey for me. Once I learned that my self-worth was so much more than just my outer shel ...[Read More]
Did you know that body image is the number one shame trigger for women? Studies show that most women have on average 11-19 negative body image thoughts every single day! The secret to changing this is to be aware of your thoughts and the way you speak to yourself. When you step out of the shower change your internal dialogue when you look in the mirror from, "ugh I look gross" to "I have a strong, ...[Read More]
"Don't compare your behind the scenes to someone else's highlight reel." Want to see a big transformation??!! Just kidding. There was only about twenty seconds between these two photos I just took today. I'm sharing this because the number one shame trigger in women is body image and this is something that needs to be talked about more. So many times we look at models posed perfectly in a magazine ...[Read More]
This past year I have spent a lot of time alone in nature. I guess you could say it's been my therapy of sorts as I went through a divorce...connecting with nature, hiking to places no one else visits, and taking in beautiful scenery like what's in this picture and the last video I posted, it all was very healing for me. As I was going through that healing process, I kept a lot of things off socia ...[Read More]
As promised, I am going to slowly start sharing with you guys some insight into where I've been lately. A page from my journal the other night when I was feeling small, and sad, and stuck in my own grief...
And then it hits me. I might be in the gym and see someone stare at me for a second longer than normal and wonder if they recognize me from my public profile. I feel like I want to shrink and hide under my hat and in the same moment I know how silly that is. I feel embarrassed that I'm not as lean or as strong as I've been in the past but wonder how I can feel that way right now when I felt quite pretty and happy the day before? It's confusing.
And then it hits me. I'll be at the grocery store and see someone my ex has dated since our divorce or an old mutual friend who chose to stay friends with my ex instead of both of us. I feel insecure, small, and without much worth.
And then it hits me. I'll be dating a man wondering if he's ever been with a woman who has had kids, if he knows about the stretched skin on my stomach from carrying two ten pound babies, or that sometimes I pee my pants when I laugh too hard. Is this something most men know about? It's embarrassing for me to think about but I can't be the only woman who wonders these things, right?
And then it hits me. I'll see a video or a photo of my kids while they are with their dad for the week and feel an overwhelming wave of guilt, shame, sadness, and loss. I should have worked harder to keep our family in tact. I chose this, and maybe I chose wrong. I have moments of doubt. I am missing important days and weeks in my kids' life. When I am not with them, I feel like a bad mom. I feel guilty for enjoying my time away.
I am in a transition phase right now getting used to being a single woman. I don't have all the answers, in fact, when it comes to a lot of these types of emotions I don't have many answers or solutions at all. All I know is that I can't be the only one feeling this way. And I know that when I feel small, and weak....that talking and sharing these feelings makes me feel stronger and less afraid.
Guilt and shame can't survive when we open up, share, and own our stories.
With grief and pain comes joy and peace.
I believe this wholeheartedly. I have to. That belief is what helps get me through the hard times.
Remember this: it is ok to give yourself permission to not be ok all the time and accept that it's very normal to have confusing feelings. Working through this stuff takes time. Be patient with yourself. You give everyone else grace and love, make sure you show that to yourself too. 💗
With so much love,
Check out my recent FREE podcast episode with Drew and Lynn Manning: fit2fat2fit.com/podcast On the podcast I chat about: - Gaining and losing 70 lbs with each of my pregnancies - How to get motivated - How to balance kids, work and your health - How to make healthy eating more affordable And you guys, I shared by most embarrassing moment that no one but my husband knew about. Oh man. Any guesses ...[Read More]
Charming Charlie (seriously my favorite clothing and accessory store ever) is having a huge #necklaceobsessed event right now, and to celebrate I picked out all of my favorite necklaces to share with you guys!! They have an awesome deal right now where you can mix and match and layer all these fun necklaces to make a really cool look. I love their jewelry because it's super affordable, everythin ...[Read More]