When I left for my run tonight I had a sink full of dishes, kids that needed baths still, and endless emails to respond to.  There are hundreds of days that I feel tired and sluggish on my runs and I don’t want to do it.  So many days where I lace up my shoes, go through the motions, and just get it done with no real excitement.

But then, I have days like today.  A workout that reminds me why I do this.

During tonight’s run I felt like I was so focused that nobody could get inside my head.  I suppose technically, I am the only one in my head.  But, my mind started to wander and my thoughts became so clear.

Tonight during my run my mind started to focus, and I started thinking of goals and dreams that feel so big and scary that I am afraid to even speak them out loud.  Ideas that make me feel so vulnerable and excited that my stomach flips over and starts to churn.  As I was running, I started to doubt myself and wondered to myself “Seriously? Who am I to achieve these big goals?  I’m just a regular mom who comes from a poor family with a lot of kids”.  But, then I picked up my speed a little and thought, “No. I am capable”.  I was doing HIIT training and knew I had a sprint coming up.  In the 10 seconds gearing up to sprint, I began to believe that I already am the woman who has achieved those goals that I haven’t yet achieved.  I started to pretend that I am the person capable of making big changes.  I begin to convince myself that it is possible.  The phrase ‘fake it till you make it’ applied tonight.  I tried to pretend what it would feel like to be the person I want to be, and those thoughts made me feel powerful.  I used the power of those thoughts to propel my legs, and in that 20 second sprint as I was flying past mailboxes, I imagined what it would feel like to already have accomplished the goals I want to achieve.  I believed it was possible.

I use my workouts to help me become a better person.  Not just to have a flat stomach, or toned arms, but to help me focus on creating my identity outside of being a mom.

When I walked back in the door I still had a sink full of dishes, and kids with dirty faces who need a bath.  But, for that 20 minute workout I was creating the person I want to become.

LincolnReading

This is post #25 in my 30 Days of Blogging Challenge.  If you want to read more posts I have written about you can click here to see the topics from each day.
Blogging Challenge